_{aboutwinning.}

❝ actually, it’s not that surprising. ❞    _{tone matching holden’s, just voicing thoughts and musing along. he won’t   push    the man, understands his line of work enough to know that it is a little more complicated than your common everyday interrogation.  in his time as   ADA   he’s never came across a man like kemper, can’t imagine what it must     FEEL    like sitting across from someone capable of butchering innocent people and still making an    honest  effort     to understand what some might deem    IMPOSSIBLE     for a normal human mind to understand   ( discussion just what exactly    normal   entails of course open for debate ) .  it is as impressive as it is worrisome  –––––  he’s hoping holden can handle it.  
     ❝ kemper naming you as his emergency  contact i mean.  ❞  thought finished just short before he manages to do the same with his drink. eying the empty glass like he’s trying to find a hidden secret at the bottom, brows furrowed before he decides to turn his undivided attention to the young agent  ( he looks as tired as harvey feels ).    ❝ i mean, you have a tendency to do that to people   –––  i used to think it was an fbi thing but i now i’m fairly certain it is a    Y O U    thing !  you’re trustworthy;   you seem trustworthy.  you have a way of looking at people like you’re actually listening and believe me, from experience ?  people   L O V E   attention.  i’m willing to bet this goes even more for men like kemper - someone who’s never really been heard his entire life …  ❞    and he is not the expert here, on psychology and a criminal’s mind, but it is his job to figure out what makes people work and it’s easy to tell what makes anybody decide to put their faith in    h o l d e n  f o r d  !    ❝ i  don’t think he has anyone else.    as for why you actually went ?   you are you.  truth ? i would’ve wanted to see how this would play out as well …   you form connections with those people, you have to, it’s your job…  i’m more concerned that i have something in common with kemper !       remind me to change my emergency contact ! ❞   it’s played as an off-hand joke and he hopes it works to ease the tension a bit, lift some of the   HEAVINESS    off this conversation.  there’s a heavy pause before he leans forward, elbows resting on his desk and voice dropping. no pretending, no joke, he’s openly showing that he’s serious.}

  _{❝  D O N ‘ T   !    i mean it, holden, come on. you make this sound like this is some sort of  charity case. i like having you around, i’m not just doing this for you      –––––––  you might not know it yet, but i people say i am actually incredibly selfish. so i’m probably doing this for me. ❞    and perhaps the wink does not entirely cover up the truth behind those words.}

holden  ford  drinks  in  every  word   _{falling from specter’s lips,   pays a selfish,   self - centered ATTENTION with keen ears  &  a grateful heart,   letting the almost estranged feeling of consideration lift his burdened heart while his hand shifts to loosely grip at the armrest,   blue eyes FIXED upon the man as he remains entirely devoted to his friend’s speech  &  lessons.     once upon a time,   bill tench had wordlessly assumed the part of pontificator   ━   &  played it without hesitation or regret   ━   but since the  RIPE  CUNTS  business,   all had changed,   for better or for worse.     but that’s how it is,   with the bureau :   you’re asked to walk a straight line.     deviate for the sake of duty  &  you’ll be summoned to surrender your badge  &  gun     (   the gun,   he hardly misses,   but it’s his badge ford’s come to mourn ;   not for the advantage it’s been KNOWN to bring,   but for the doors it unlocked  &  the privileged access to the usa’s most guarded carceral facilities it entailed   ).}

_{a smile,   laughter soft,   white of his teeth SHINING,   however momentarily…     harvey’s always been good at supporting his friends ;   a reputation garnered over the years,   as quickly as holden’s admiration,   to shape a LASTING relationship that tends to be more than friendly esteem,   but that he could never quite place a name on.          ❝    and   you’d   be   a   rightful   idiot   to,   ‘cause   if   this   little…   mishap   has   told   us   anything,   it’s   that   i   sure   don’t   take   the   honor   lightly  !!    ❞          HONOR sure is a big word,   but the very thought of naming him as emergency contact bears in iitself something of a tribute to ford   ━   hence his presence by kemper’s alleged  ‘ death ’  bed.          ❝    i   really   appreciate   being   around   you,   too,   harvey.     you   do   have   a   KNACK   for   making   people   feel   better.     guess   there’s   clearly   a   reason   why   you’re   so   great   at   your   job.    ❞          another smile,   KIND  &  personal,   this time,   &  slow to pull upon his lips as he will stand,   take a few steps towards the other  &  extend his hand expectantly,   hand holding out his EMPTY glass.     but that’s not all :   soon,   his free hand reaches to grip harvey’s wrist  &  give a gentle,   meaningful squeeze,   eyes set on the other’s.          ❝    i   mean   it.     ━━━  thank   you.    ❞}

aboutwinning.

❝ no ...   i suppose there isn’t. ❞    _{subtle smile barely covers up how   worried  he truly is. it might be the other’s job to get into people’s minds, to read and analyze, to find the truth not just in   WORDS   but in micro expressions. in what is said but more importantly in    what isn’t   !  but just because holden makes a living doing just that, doesn’t mean harvey can’t tell when he’s being lied to.  heavy sigh in sync with him  leaning back    in his leather chair, brown hues flickering across seemingly tired features  -   he brings his own glass up, takes a gracious sip and lets the burn    soothe   him, whiskey working it’s magic almost immediately.     ❝ ouch !  and here i was thinking   I    was your closest friend. then again, i assume   lawyer   might actually be worse, huh ? ❞   humor slips through but it’s not enough for him to miss the subtle change in holden’s gaze,          ❝ you realize i can tell when people lie to me, right ??  you think i’d be sitting where i am if i was    this shitty   at my job ?  come on, ford, cut the bullshit and   TALK TO ME  !  if it’d make you feel better, i could charge you …  maybe the bureau’s gonna let you write it off. if you continue to disregard the officials, you might as well start looking for a lawyer.  ❞} 

the  soft  smile  that  passes  his  lips  is  authentic.     _{ford hasn’t felt like LAUGHING in a long,   troubled while,   but the idea of charging harvey   ━   at the bureau’s expense,   no less   ━   has something inherently tempting about it.     it’s touching,   also,   to feel the other’s anxious gaze on him  &,   more so than with bill tench,   holden feels allowed to SHARE his rawest,   most personal fears.     brow creases again,   a hand running over his tie to smoothen the fabric,   thumb  &  index lingering along the fabric as he shifts in his seat.           ❝    clearly,   you   are.     but…     i   don’t   know   what’s   CRAZIEST.     kemper   naming   me   as   his   emergency   contact   or   me,   actually    visiting   him   at   the   hospital.    ❞          he’s just thinking OUT LOUD,   mind wrapped around the thought  &  concept ;   at a complete loss for rational explanation.          ❝    you   don’t   need   to   worry   about   me,   harvey.     i   know   you   got   a   lot   going   on   with   the   firm   as   it   is.     but   i   really   do   APPRECIATE   you   taking   some   of   your   time   for   me.    ❞}

_{aboutwinning.}

_{❝ –––  depends on the   WORK   …   depends on how you define   getting involved in    , holden. ❞   he worries, it’s obvious in the attention he pays to the man’s subtle facial expressions  ( also takes note of the way he grips the glass ). he won’t pretend he    understands     that line of work – it’s not the   REASON   he focusses on, it’s the   result.   ❝ listen … ❞   yes, holden, listen;  other people pay $1000 an hour for his advice.   ❝ you crossed some lines, pissed some people off; personally ? i’m   PROUD  you showed them  !!! i just want you to be careful, is all. don’t let it get to your head, you know ??  you’re alright, aren’t you ? i mean –––  you’d say something if you weren’t, right? ❞} 

❝    there’s   no…     defining   this   work.    ❞          _{(   your voice is soft,   holden ford,   so soft it almost sounds troubled,   yet you’re IMMUNE to it all,   bill said so   ).          brow wrinkles in creases of perplexity,   rim of his glass touching to his lips  &  he tips it,   letting a mouthful of amber liquid washing down his throat,   eyes on spector.     the signs of CONCERN are easy to read on the man’s features,   ford working on deciphering them :   the attention has grown nearly foreign.     first greg,   then bill,   then debbie.     &  he had a hand in all of them.     no response to the interrogation,   though his gaze SOFTENS somewhat,   almost resigned.          ❝    i   believe   my   closest   friend   is   a   known   serial   offender,   harvey.    ❞          the retort comes matter - of - factly,   a faint grin curling the corner of his mouth,   humor SLIPPING through lax features.          ❝    of   course,   i’m   all   right.    ❞}

❝    is   it   really   such   a   bad   thing,   harvey  ?    ❞          _{fingers  ‘round  the  rim  of  his  glass  TIGHTEN,   grip  firm  before  he  downs  the  content  with  a  subtle  wince,   forlorn  gaze  meeting  specter’s  for  a  few,   silent  minutes     (   ‘ your  attitude  is  gonna  bite  you  in  the  ass,   holden ! ’   ).          ❝    ━━━  getting   involved   in   your   work  ?    ❞          oh,   but  you’ve  gone  a  STEP  further  than  that,   haven’t  you ?     a  perfect  record  with  a  history  of  unquestionable  conduct,   &  he’s  gone  against  his  superior’s  ORDERS ;   flew  so  close  to  the  sun  he’d  nearly  burnt.}          ━     @aboutwinning.

_{aboutwinning.}

@mindhunt   starter call.  

_{❝ what ?? you expect me to sit here and share my story with you ?  TRAUMATIC   childhood ?abandonment issues ? fear of  FAILURE ?  where do you wanna start ?  ❞  he plays it off as a joke, lips twitching and the grin that follows bright enough to not be identified as the fake   MASK   it truly is.    ❝ i don’t really do that !  getting all sappy and emotional ––– don’t see how this is gonna do either of us any good .  i’m a damn good lawyer - i could kick your ass at most sports, that’s what you gotta know about me !   now    you    however….   why don’t we start with  YOUR   story ?❞}  

_{CAREFUL,   he’s not speaking ;   politely  &  patiently waits till the other is entirely done.     for it betrays his emotions,   that uncoordinated,   verbalized trail of thoughts he can’t quite shut up.     &  holden ford’s taking mental notes of it,   FEIGNS INDIFFERENCE,   empathy.          ❝    my   partner’s   really   the   sportsman.     i   prefer   to   talk.    ❞          index presses play on his  SONY  TC - 510 - 2  TAPE  RECORDER,   idle hand readjusting his tie.     ––––––––––he’s feeling compliant.          ❝    well,   my   story’s   not   as   bright   as   yours,   mr.   specter.     i   was   born   in   brooklyn,   grew   up   in   the   midwest,   worked   as   a   brick   agent   in   detroit,   taught   hostage   negotiation   in   quantico…   and,   now,   i’m   woking   on   putting   together   a   profiling   manual   on   CRIMINALS   convicted   of   violent   crimes   for   the   behavioral   science   unit.     as   it   just   happens,   we   believe   you   have   VALUABLE   input   on   the   subject.    ❞}